She
was nauseous. Unsure if it was the eight hours spent driving in the
summer heat without air conditioning or the impending visit eight years
in the making. Who was she kidding...it was the visit.
“If
I had to chose someone on this planet to meet my father before...well,
to meet him, it would be you,” he shared with her when they discussed
her overnight stop.
“OK.”
He
watched a red, 2-door Sudan hesitantly roll down the street blatantly
trying to read house numbers and stay on the pavement. He met her in
the driveway. No expectations. Increasingly nervous. Why?
In all of this upheaval--she felt like home.
She
checks herself out one last time in the rear-view mirror, accepts the
disheveled look as reality and slips out of the driver’s seat. Eight
hours on the interstate with the windows down felt more like twelve and
the shear desire to escape that car is the only thing propelling her
forward now. He wonders how, for days, he has been willing the hours to
move faster--but in the last few, tries to lengthen every minute.
But there they were. Adults. Strangers. His hesitance forces her to make the first move.
“Hey,” she broaches.
“Hey.”
“I made it,” she notes nonchalantly.
“Yup,” he takes her in.
“Awkward. So fucking awkward. He’s going to make me work for this,” she panics to herself. “Hug him.”
Before
he realizes what she’s doing, she’s maneuvered herself into his arms.
Not even close to comforting. Not for either of them. Quick release.
“Do you need to grab anything out of the car?” he asks.
“Uh, ya.” She runs to her car, composes herself, and heads back up the driveway.
He is very grateful no one is home from work yet to witness this reunion. It has to get better.
They
make small talk. She asks about his father, his other family, who she
is going to meet. He explains the new dynamics and how this living
situation isn’t going to last much longer. He just wanted to know his
dad. She understands nothing, but gets everything.
As
they talk, she gets flashes of their childhood--sitting on the paved
stoop watching his three older sisters pile into their father’s car for
the weekend leaving him behind. Life was different now, but she sees
the same boy in front of her as they wait for his father to come home
for introductions.
His father eventually does. Cordial greetings. Skeptical inquiries about tonight’s sleeping arrangements.
They off-set the questions with an agreement to go out and get drinks. Alcohol has to help.
It
does. Conversation is casual. Long-time friends catching up through
music and laughter. They close down the bar and head back to his
father’s house, knowing full-well this reunion tonight is short-lived.
Back
in the driveway, he pulls her into his arms just as he had done
countless times before tonight. She melts the way she always did. This
moment should have been their, “hello”.
She
jokes to ease her own anxiety. “Don’t,” he replies, proving his
strength by pulling her in closer. One unit. At first she doesn’t
resist, but drunken antics set in and she spastically tries to wriggle
her arms free from his. He resists. Their game continues as it always
has.
A
game of cat and mouse from the driveway to the porch. She’s quick, but
he is always a step ahead in brute force. He plays with her head. He
can see her wheels turning--she isn’t used to him flirting back. She’s
cautious.
They’ve
been here before many years ago. Cat and mouse. From the porch to the
living room. They give it a rest. Separate couches. Nothing has
happened.
She could be making the tension up in hear head as she thought she had always done.
Bantering
continues. She refuses to back down this time. He’s going to let her
think she’s won and allow her to bridge the gap. She does. Into his
lap. She hovers just long enough to force his lips into hers. So easy.
Cat and mouse. From the living room to the bed room. They catch sense in the most nonsensical situation. Almost twenty years of missed opportunities and conflicted emotions bottled into this one night together. For the first time in their relationship, no games from either side.
As
the sun rises and sheds a new light on their friendship, he slips out
of her arms to the awaiting couch downstairs. The only time he has ever
let go of her first.
In a few hours, she is back on the road towards home. This time, driving far and fast away from him.
